Thursday, 29 December 2011

I Want to Have a Cult Personality

Why the fuck should that badly dressed, short, fat dictator twat have all the fun?  I know one shouldn't speak I'll of the dead but I don't give a shit.  He's dead.  You think I'll give a shit about what people say about me when I'm dead?  I'll be fucking dead!!  (Unless I decide to rise up and inflict apocalyptic rage on you bad mouthing bastards)

It seems a little unfair for one guy to hog the limelight, that's all I'm saying.  And his podgy, Star Craft playing, puddle of piss son is going to get it now!  I almost weep in despair.  Come on, look at the state of it-

 I could have levelled up 10 times if it wasn't for this bollocks!

Just a little crowd adulation once in my life is all I'm asking for.  Come on, The Isle of Harris (for example) worship me as a deity!

Haha, women of Isle of Lewis.  I reject you!


Ah well, just a thought.  My ex dog worships me (when I have chocolate).  It's a start.  As is my side parting which could be taken as slightly hipsterish but I prefer to think of as dictatorial.


Reaction just in to news of the side parting-


Tuesday, 27 December 2011

He's Playing a Star Wars Game

I don't think Hipsters would play an online game of any kind.  Especially not one based on Star Wars.  Let's face it, most of the people that play it are prepubescent or middle aged guys who would struggle to put a Jabba the Hutt costume on.

So, we've established my credentials (once again) as non-hipster.  I hadn't mentioned it in a while.

The game is Star Wars: The Old Republic.  You may have seen the ads on billboards and TV.  They are pushing this game hard.  Me being me bought it the day it came out.

Took a while to get the thing going as there were countless millions trying to register the game online.  Didn't put me in the best of moods.  Then I make a cool Han-Solo character, a smuggler.  I wanted to call him Budgie Smuggler but it wouldn't let me.  The only reason I chose this class is the ability to kick people in the balls.  Something that has been very useful so far.  And it makes a satisfying crunching noise.

I chose a server labelled "PVP" which means player versus player.  Basically I want to jump in and make fat kids cry.  Like a previous game I played, Warhammer, you could do this straight away.  Not this game.  I haven't had a sniff of a enemy fat kid let alone kick him in the balls and make him cry. Very disappointing.  (There are minigames you can join to fight real enemy but it isn't the main game).

So I run about, killing computer characters, ranking up, buy new clothes and learning to kick harder.  I'm just not enjoying it that much.  Too much running about, not enough action, all a bit pointless.  Graphics are great, cut-scenes are amazing but that does not make a good game.

I'll give it more time, try and find the true PVP areas (I may need a space ship to find them, which i'm on the verge of getting).  Really want this game to be good and work for me.  So far, it is a bit of a let down.  Bit like seeing Carrie Fisher like this-

Oh dear.