Phone Dilemna

Not being a Hipster makes choosing a phone pretty difficult.  The Hipster would have the latest Apple offering.  Easy.  He'd probably do this with it too

You are a C...

Lenny the Spaz if you ask me.  Fair play to him, he has shagged Kylie Minogue.  

I digress.

Been using a cheapo Android phone for a while now and I do like it.  Also got an iTouch which I also like.  Shit.  Do I go for a better Android or iPhone.  I really am torn.  

Today's feeling is that I should use the combo of iTouch and fancy Android.  Probably a bit of a cop out.  

Should I rant about the woman at 02?  She was very nice so I don't want to disrespect her too much.  

However-

"If I came down your street and saw your wifi was open, it's fine to use it." 

Eh, no.  And trying to sell my open wifi to 02 customers isn't alright either.  Before you know it there is dogging going on as the extreme porn they have just downloaded whips them into a sexual frenzy.

What if I'm trying to sleep?!  Disgusting animals.

Just as well my wifi is WPAd.

So Samsung Galaxy S2 it is!!

Hello lovely!

They do nice tellies too but that'll be another review if I ever get time at home to watch the bastard.

Humiliated!

Out for lunch as one does on a pleasant Sunday afternoon.  One rolls into the car park in one's fancy Black Beast (AKA Honda S2000) only to find it isn't the sexiest car there.  By a LONG shot.  I've only stumbled into a TVR meet.

Now, lovely as they are, there was a lot of standing about and talking and not a lot of driving going on.  Some reasons why this might be the case-

• TVRs are notoriously unreliable.  They are terrified the thing will end up on the verge with smoke coming out of it and that isn't a good talking point for these people.
• They are fucking terrifying to drive.  TVR put 2 fingers up to the EU when it came to safety features.  Outrageously powerful engines, no ABS, traction control or indeed airbags.  Most of them seem to be enjoying their pensions and want to keep it that way.  Engine remains OFF.
• They wouldn't have dewy eyed saps like me wandering around dribbling on the tarmac if they were on the road.  

There were 2 examples of one of the coolest cars ever made, the Sagaris (it's named after a type of battle axe) sitting with engine off.

Could probably fit some more air intakes there

Seeing one of these in the flesh was a rare treat.  Ah, if I had a multi car garage then maybe....

Had lunch, came out and they were still hanging around talking.  Pussies.  I skulked off in the Beast and floored it as soon as I was out of sight.  

I still love you Blackie.

Life in the Yorskhire Dales

A brief visit to family in Yorkshire showed me what an utterly boozed up place it is.  Under the guise of genteel little villages, stunning countryside, funny accents and a lot of red faces.  Oh, hang on... that last one is a clue.

The day I arrived was Whit Friday.  Apparently, it's some backward religious festival they have perverted into a drinking orgy combined with a brass band competition which closed most of the roads in the area.  Reminds me I should watch the film "Brassed Off".  Police riot vans roamed the area, not for drunk and disorderly but for enraged drivers unable to get home after a long week's work.  Clear evidence of the inebriated state of the people who planned this event.

Look, here is one of them in the final stages of planning-

Only to fit in did I bring down some champers and a bit of rouge.  And only to fit in did I drink quite a lot of it.  It seemed safer to stay in that night.  And then.....

We discovered Dance Central for the Kinect Xbox thingy!!!  I could go on about what an amazing bit of kit the Kinect is but just to prove it, it got me up dancing like a complete spaz with half the usual amount of booze it takes to get me up.  Much hilarity ensued.  It has a "freesytle" bit that you are supposed to express your artistic freedom while taking pictures of you and then replaying them at high speed.  Not a pretty sight but incredibly funny.

As if that wasn't proof enough of a serious problem in Yorkshire, the next day was a Beer Walk.  They haven't even the shame to disguise it anymore!!  I witnessed the latter stages of this as I tried to get to my next destination.  As I came to cross a sleepy crossroads, I was confronted by scores of pissed people slowly staggering past me dressed up as all sorts.  A group of female Red Indians had to sit down on the verge next to my car, it was all too much for them.  Blokes dressed as nuns stared vacantly at me, a bunch of plumbers (I think they may actually have been plumbers, very unimaginative) staggered all over the place and as far as I could see there were strange, pissed folk walking up this hill.  All in the aid of charity.  Yeah, whatever.  All in the aid of getting pissed and indulging your sickest sexual fantasy.

I only take the moral high ground because I beat my bro-in-law at a dance off with Salt n Pepa and "Push it".

He's back!! Couldn't Fit "and other stuff" in the blog name.

Yes, I have too much crap rolling about in my head and can't possibly keep in to myself.

This has all been brought on by me migrating to Apple products.  Not like some twat wearing a flat cap and dark glasses.  No.  That is a hipster.  I won't have any of it.  Look, here's one-

Cunt

I hate using the "c" word. 

Spending a lot of time in large airports, I see them all.  Apple products aren't cool enough for them but they use 'em.  They use a lot of kleenex and cry themselves to sleep with crushing loneliness but that that is for another post.

So here we go on a roller coster ride of ranting, tech reviews, bit of fitness, daft videos, views on life and general blabbing.

You ready?

The Catalyst

What has brought all this on I don't hear you asking?

I'm going to tell you.

Apple.

For years I poo pooed them for being poncy, expensive and unnecessary.  Why spend a grand on a lappy when I can get on for 400 sheet that does the same thing?  I don't want to be controlled by Apple!

I stand by all this.  The fact is they work really well.  Just a couple weeks in using a 4 year old Macbook and I'm sold.  Okay, I've done my Richy thing of fiddling.  1Gb mem to 4GB.  80Gb hard drive to 500Gb.  Even that was super easy.  Time machine made swapping drives easy as drugging a school girl in the back of a transit.  So slick.

Some may remember me singing the praises of Windows 7 versus Vista (steaming, runny diarrhea).  As good as Win7 is, it still requires antivirus, updates every 10 minutes, change of browser, confusing networks setups, poor backup options.... yadda yadda.  I can't give something like this to my ageing parents!!  Oh, hang on.  Oops.

Maybe I'm just biased because it picked up my, I mean my neighbours, porno network drive without any drivers or extra installs.  Dirty bastard.  Just getting evidence against him before I go to the authorities.

They work out the box.  That is all.

Maybe Hipsters are just stupid and can't get Windows to work?  They certainly look special...

Mini review- Game of Thrones

HBO do it again.  Game of Thrones is just amazing.  Not quite sure where to start with this one.  Sean Bean?  That'll do.  One of my favourite actors (shit factoid- brother-in-law was an extra in his film Age of Heroes (he won't admit it has gone straight to DVD!)).  Based on some books an old dude wrote/is writing and fans are hoping he doesn't die before he finishes the series.  If he does, I'll finish it for him.  Probably be a massive orgy and then zombies and monsters invade the party and kill everyone just after the money shots happen.

It has the usual things that amuses me in films- outrageous, graphic violence; outrageous, graphic sex; brilliant characters; multi-threaded plots; shocking twists; great special effects and it's HBO.  Something for everyone in this one, including potential zombie action (not kidding!).

I get very excited for every new episode and the nurses need to calm me down with drugs and restraints.

Yup, you get to see her tits

Hipsters wouldn't watch this, it's way too mainstream.  I'll do a review on a silent black and white Lithuanian 3 minute short film I watched the other day.  Actually, I can do it now- it was utterly shite and I didn't get it.