The main character is a Scotsman by the name of Malcolm Tucker. He has to be the best character ever. If you like clever, outrageous swearing that is. A few years ago I would have been desperate to swear as well as him.
Here he is!
Here are some choice quotes (remember Scottish angry accent)
Miscellaneous Civil Servant: Can you stop swearing, please?
Malcolm: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, you won't hear anymore swearing from us YOU MASSIVE GAY SHITE! FUCK OFF!
Jamie: I'm not leaving it to you, you couldn't organise a bum-rape in a barracks.
Malcolm: Au contraire.
Malcolm: Here he is! Cock like the Pink Panther's tail.
Doug Hayes: I'm afraid I turned it down, Malcolm.
Malcolm: Do you know 90% of household dust is made of dead human skin? That's what you are to me.
As funny as this is, I'm reading a book called "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" and really enjoying it. I've calmed down too much I think!! What to do...... watch more Thick of It!
Go on, have one more, pretend it's me-
Zen Richy: And I would rain down on you so hard, you would have to be reassembled by fucking air crash investigators. [Phil tries to protest] DO NOT FUCKING interrupt me, son, ever! Now get this into the noggin, right. You breathe a word of this, to anyone, you mincing fucking CUNT, and I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mother's birthday party, and rub your nuts up and down her leg whilst whistling Bohemian fucking Rhapsody, right!?
Phil: [nods in shock] Yeah.
Zen Richy: Now, get out of my fucking sight.
Phil: Yeah. [wanders off, visibly terrified]

I must get on this immediately to hone my managerial patter before my return to work.
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