Holy shit, I just came out of a coma. My arms and legs are like cocktail sticks. Zombies everywhere. Oh, hang on. Seems I'm working in China now. Probably best not to smash their heads in with a hammer. I've written letters of condolence in my best Chinese to the victims' families. They'll be fine. Probably had a laugh with the gags I put in (mainly copied from Peter Kay). Sorted.
I lie about my weakened condition! I'm stronger and more pissed off than ever. My dear reader, you and I have a lot of ground to cover. You think I was mental before? Sit yourself down and get a wee drink. My piercing gaze is seeing clearer than ever. What I see is most displeasing.
I was going to start a new blog called "Airborne Atheist" but I think I put the God thing to rest and the Airborne thing annoys me just thinking about it. It's how I house and feed myself dearest. So fuck that. I'm still not a hipster. That'll do.
Where do I start?
Fuuuuuuuu......
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